My C-Sections Almost Killed Me

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had visions of a beautiful childbirth experience.  No drugs, having the baby laid upon my chest as soon as I birthed him, basking in the afterglow of truly amazing experience as he breastfed.  Little did I know, this would never be in the cards for me.  

At 30 weeks gestation, I developed preeclampsia. My body was retaining water and my blood pressure was extremely elevated.  At 35 weeks, I went in for a regular doctor’s appointment.  I made it as far as the blood pressure station.  The nurse took my blood pressure and quickly left me sitting there.  She returned and took me to my doctor.  He explained my blood pressure was stroke level and that I would be transported to the hospital to induce labor.  For the next 4 days, I was given drugs to induce my labor, with frequent breaks during which they would sedate me because my blood pressure was too high to safely continue.  On day 5, they broke my water.  Despite heavy contractions, I wasn’t dilating.  23 hours later, I was rushed to the OR for an emergency C-section.  I saw my baby boy for roughly 10 seconds as they held him up over the curtain that blocked my view of the surgery.  He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid my eyes on.  I did not get to gaze upon his face for another 24 hours because despite delivering him, which usually is the cure for preeclampsia, I was still very sick.  I’ll never forget when they wheeled him in to see me, finally.  He was absolutely perfect. After I got to go home and process my birth experience, I was angry.  I didn’t get “the perfect birth experience” I had wanted.  However, I was alive and so was he. That was all that mattered and life went on.

Upon conceiving my second child, I tried for a vaginal birth after C-section.  My second pregnancy was like something you’d read from a textbook, and I was excited at the prospect of finally getting my “perfect birth” experience.  However, on my due date as my doctor checked my cervix, he told me that my body was not designed to have babies naturally and that we would need to schedule a C-section.  I was devastated, but pushed through, because despite the disappointment of things not going ideally , I was going to meet my second son soon.  

My friends began having babies and I remember being so jealous of the ones who were able to deliver naturally.  I felt that my birth experiences were inferior somehow, despite having two healthy and beautiful boys to show for them.  It also didn’t help that everywhere I looked moms who gave birth naturally were being touted as superheroes, while those of us that had C-sections were thought to have taken the “easy way out”.  Easy way out??  Having a horse sized needle put into your spine and then being awake for major surgery is hardly what I’d call the easy way out.  Nor is there anything easy about recovering from major abdominal surgery AND taking care of a newborn.  Not to mention the beautiful hip to hip scar I now have. 

Having my C-sections also put my life in danger, as I’d discover with my fourth and final pregnancy.  Having multiple C-sections increases a mother’s risk of developing, Accreta, a very dangerous condition in which the placenta attaches too deeply causing hemorrhaging and death if not properly managed. That birth caused me to bleed out on the table, leaving me heavily sedated and on life support.

So, in my experience, there’s nothing easy or inferior about giving birth by C-section. ALL moms who give  forth life are superheroes, despite how different their birth experiences look.  We need to celebrate all of those courageous souls who embrace life in spite of their circumstances.  Although many look at having a baby as a common occurrence, it is nothing short of a miracle, each and every time.

- Amanda Solomon, Editor & Blogger @ Life Defenders