Pregnant From Rape Twice ; Here’s What My Children Have Taught Me.
Written by Natalie . Published by Life Defenders with permission.
I had just settled in to my new place of living about the inter my freshman year of college. I thought the world was mine to conquer and that nothing stood in my way.
Two weeks into my freshman year I was hanging out with some new friends I had made and around 6pm I was invited to a local party. I hadn’t been with anyone in a sexual manner yet as I was saving myself for my future husband ; I also didn’t do alcohol or drugs.
Knowing that I didn’t consume drugs or alcohol, it became clear to me that a sexual assault had taken place. Being new on campus, I was devastated not knowing what to do or who to reach out to. I ended up telling some neighbourhood girls who also attended the same university amd they brought me to the local hospital where I was treated and spoken to by the local authorities.
I was offered the Plan B pill right away, but I didn't know what it was ; therefore, I decided against it.
Growing up , I had always heard that it was very rare to get pregnant from sexual assault, so I saw no need to take a Proventil.
That assault initially stole my life. Struggling with anxiety PTSD and Depression, I had no choice but to drop out of school. With no family and no friends in the area, I became homeless. It wasn't long after that that I came to the realization that I had become pregnant.
Growing up in a relatively liberal family, I always thought abortion was permissible.
I had no one; I felt alone and scared so I entered the Planned Parenthood thinking that they would offer solutions to my problem , but they only offered to terminate the pregnancy. The only other thing they gave me was time to think about it.
Again not having anyone to show me anything different, I went ahead and aborted my child.
They told me it was no big deal and I believed them.
A couple months went by and I started to feel the heartache of what I had done , although I could not put my feelings into words. Instead, I tried to cope by consuming alcohol and turning to drugs.
I became suicidal and spent three and a half years homeless on the streets.
In the summer of 2012 on one very one night living among other people in a tent city designated for homeless people , I had befriended a young man and that's all that our relationship had played out to be - a friendship. Nothing more.
One night he took it upon themselves to take more then I was willing to give. This event led to my 2nd sexual assault .
In the back of my mind so many thoughts racing through my head. I knew I had to handle this one differently so I reached out to a young lady who was still in college that I had met years prior.
I knew she had a relationship with Jesus. Although I didn't know it at the time I yearned for His presence in my life.
I reached out to her through Facebook and will always remember the first thing she said to me.
“ Please talk to me... and if you are pregnant I'll walk with you through it “
It was only a couple weeks later she returned back from summer vacation and we were able to confirm that I was indeed pregnant once again by sexual assault. Finding out I was pregnant again, I became angry; I didn't know at who or what, but I knew the anger was in me. My mind automatically jumped to having an abortion, but then I remembered the pain of losing my first child that way and what it had done to my life.
She and I decided to make an appointment at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center, where I was able to hear my child's heartbeat for the first time the feeling is undescribable. It was as if Mozart had written that whole new symphony just for that little girl's heartbeat. It was at that time that I knew I couldn’t go through with having another abortion.
That decision to keep my daughter forever changed my life in the best of ways possible. April 11th, 2013, my now 5 year old daughter was born. She’s the sweetest, most loving and kind person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. She’s MY child; a child of God; & a priceless gift from Heaven.
I’m incredibly blessed with her presence in my everyday life and the priveillege of raising her.
The way she was conceived does not determine the value of her life. Or the things things she will be able to accomplish (this little girl wants to be a doctor). I’m so glad I did not go through with it. Sitting there in the local Planned Parenthood for 30 minutes felt like a lifetime, but the 30 seconds it took to walk out, and give my daughter life forever changed mine, in the best of ways.
Yes rape is extremely hard, but I've seen both sides of the spectrum and I guarantee having my child help me grow as a person and heal from past hurt. I'm incredibly lucky and I cannot wait for all the things that God has in store for us. I am the pro-life generation.
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