Mom & Baby Sadie’s First Christmas - A Christmas Not Expected Be

Growing up, Christmas was a big deal. What was most memorable was not opening presents,
but the fun traditions my mom passed down from her childhood - and the new ones that we
established together. Along with decorating, we would also fill tins with  homemade cookies to give neighbours and friends - note without a taste test of course:). We would also go Christmas carolling as a family and have Christmas parties with fun games.

When I was blessed with a family of my own , I loved doing the same things with my three boys. That is, until last Christmas. Last Christmas I was 23 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. 

After having three boys, I was pregnant with a little girl. 

What should have been the happiest time of my life was filled with doubt, fear, and dread. Last September, the doctors advised me to abort my baby girl after receiving a fatal maternal diagnosis- to which we declined. At 22 weeks I was diagnosed with Complete Placenta Previa, a dangerous condition in which the placenta attaches and covers the cervix. At 26 weeks, I had a massive hemorrhage. It was discovered that I also had Placenta Accreta, in addition to the Previa. Accreta is a dangerous condition on which the placenta attaches too deeply into the uterus. In cases of Accreta, the placenta can invade other organs and cause major blood loss during surgery, causing the death of the mother - and sometimes the baby.

We were also told our sweet girl had a double cord umbilical, instead of a three cord, and that she had a deposit on her heart that possibly meant she had Downs Syndrome

What was normally my favourite time of year , was my most miserable.. Had I made the right choice to carry this child? Would my choice leave my three boys without a mother? Would Sadie make it?  Would my husband end up a widowed dad? Those questions loomed over is like a thick cloud during the month of December.

On March 8th, 2017, Sadie’s arrival via Section- Hysterectomy, was one of chaos. I bled out during my c-section and they found it difficult stop it. . It was discovered that I had Placenta Percreta as well. My placenta has grown through my uterus, into my bladder and arteries. After 6 hours of surgery, they packed me, closed me up, and put me on life support until they would investigate further. 

I woke up in ICU on a ventilator and my husband told me what had happened. We rejoiced in the fact that Sadie and I had made it out alive. We finally could let out the breath we had held in for so long.

What a difference a year makes. This year, we have more joy in my heart than I ever thought possible. This will be our first Christmas with our sweet baby girl, who is now 9 months old. She is a healthy, happy baby, that has infused happiness into all who meet her. Meeting Santa, she was intrigued and jovial. People stopped to admire this baby who wasn't the least scared of Santa. Her joy is contagious! Her sweet, simple joy at everyday things is such an inspiration. In giving her life, we were blessed abundantly. Babies have a way of breathing life into families. We can't imagine this Christmas without our girl. Thankfully, we don't have to because we embraced her life, even though we were beyond terrified of what the future would look like. 

Instead of the guilt and grief abortion would have bought, we are beyond excited to make holiday memories as a family: happy, healthy , and whole. The uncertainty of what could happen, is always much better than the uncertainty of what could have been.

Merry Christmas from our home to yours. If you’re faced with a troubling maternal diagnosis this Christmas, let our testimony resonate into your resolve to carry your baby to birth.

Your friend for life,

Amanda Solomon (Writer & Blogger @ Life Defenders)